I may have mentioned this before once or twice, but I don’t like spiders. (see. They’re more scared of you.)
I have no idea why. Many believe we are conditioned to fear them by an incident that has happened in our past. This is not correct in my case. I’m pretty sure nothing has ever happened to me involving a spider.
More recent research believes that we have an innate fear of them because our ancestors used to live alongside them and had to learn to be wary of poisonous ones. Maybe this is accurate, I don’t know.What I do know is, they have more limbs than I do and it’s freaky and not natural.
Anyway, moving onto the reason for this post. These horrible,creepy, eight-legged, monsters have for some reason decided to invade my downstairs bathroom.
Now, before you sit there rolling your eyes at me and saying “It’s only a spider”Let me assure you these are not just spiders. Every day for three weeks we have opened the bathroom door to find a huge, and I mean HUGE spider in there. I’m talking pit boot wearing, nunchaku swinging spiders who spit chewing tobacco as they run towards me.
This usually results in me screaming while grabbing the Dyson, hoovering it up and then cowering in the living room while my other half emptied the hoover.
Whether this was the same spider returning every day or just its extended family trying to discover why their soldiers were going missing, I’m not sure. But needless to say, I was not impressed. In fact, for the past three weeks, I have been thanking god daily for the fact that we have two bathrooms.
Anyway, the other day this situation came to a head. It was evening and I was desperate for the toilet. Unfortunately, as I’ve mentioned in the past I have two teenage daughters. Being natural teenagers, they like to take over the bathroom, so this left me with an awkward predicament. Either wet myself or use the downstairs bathroom.
Biting the bullet I decided to venture into the downstairs one. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open and peered in, giving a sigh of relief to find there were no spiders in the corner where they usually were. Feeling slightly more relaxed, I stepped into the room and that’s when I saw it. At eye level, right by the door I’d just walked through was the biggest spider yet. I mean, we are talking past huge and into gigantic. I screamed. Not just a little yelp, an actual scream as I ran from the room, only just missing the nunchaku it swung at me and very nearly wetting myself.
As you can imagine I was not going in there again. It was left to my other half to hoover this one and even he was wary of it. (probably scared the nunchaku would break the hoover)
This was the last straw. Something had to be done. The only course of action was to fill every nook and cranny in the room in the hope we could prevent the little beggers from getting in. So the next day after work, off we went to the local DIY store in search of some kind of filler. The one we settled on was expanding foam.
I don’t know if you have used expanding foam but it was a first for me and I was really impressed with how easy it sounds. You place the nozzle at the hole, pull the trigger, and a lovely blob of foam will come out and fill up the hole. We brought the foam and rushed home to plug any hole we could find around the piping, before that day’s visitor made an appearance.
On hindsight, I probably should have changed out of my work clothes before attempting to use the foam. But where the can said it does expand so you don’t need much, it didn’t say, it will take at least six pumps of the trigger for anything to come out, and it will shoot out of the can at a hundred miles an hour. It also doesn’t inform you that the “Foam” is in fact glue and will stick to anything and everything it makes contact with. Skin, clothes, porcelain… the cat.
As you can imagine things didn’t go well. We now have foam slowly taking over the bathroom. It’s expanding closer and closer to the door. On the plus side, I don’t think that any more spiders will be getting in there. Unfortunately, I don’t think we will be either.
Next week, how to remove expanding foam!