Let’s Get Physical

As I’ve moaned about in the past, I have a bad back and not too long ago, I was hobbling around on crutches. This has led to me having physiotherapy.

I don’t know if you have ever had physio but let me explain to you what it is. Physio is where you go to a hospital or doctors office and you are told to do all types of exercises while someone who is skinny and in perfect health watches you.

For someone fat and uncoordinated, like me, this is basically a form of torture.

I’ve decided Miss Twiggy, my physiotherapist, is a sadist who takes delight in causing me pain. Unable to understand that I have to go to work, she gives me exercises to do throughout the day and cannot seem to understand that after a work shift spent on my feet, this can be hard.

I must lift 4kg weights with my back (something we are always told not to do) ten times.

Swing the weight up to shoulder height five times (while trying to avoid hitting the dog who thinks I’m playing a new kind of fetch).

Stand on one foot and bob up and down thirty times, and balance on one foot for 25 seconds…(not too easy with a cat windling itself round your leg)

All of this must be done three times a day.

And to top it all off, I am no longer to have steroid injections in my back… The one thing that helped me.

I now find myself dosed up on painkillers which make me constipated, so I can go to work, and attemping to find time to do my Physio three times a day.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to implement time managment.

As I stood, with constant stomach ache, balancing on one foot and bobbing up and down while swinging a 4kg weight (because it saves time to do it all at once) I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Suffice to say… I’ve looked better. I’m pretty sure, any of my neighbours, who have spotted me through the window, will now think I’ve lost the plot completely, but these things must be done.

While I hobble up stairs at bed time, wallowing in self pity and plotting ways to kill Miss Twiggy in my next book, I’ve found it helps to remind myself… It’s all for my own good!



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