Every so often, moments happen in our lives that are so embarrassing you want to dig a hole, hide in it and build a house on top so you can never be found. I had one of those moments the other day.
So, why are you about to tell us about it? You may ask.
Well, I figure I have one of two options. I can either hide away and hope a black hole will appear and swallow me or I can face the situation and be upfront. Never one to shy away I decided, what the hell?
So, this is what happened.
The situation arose when I visited the bathroom. As I sat down it became apparent that something wasn’t where it was supposed to be. To be exact something appeared to be attempting to leave my body, through my vagina. Let me assure you, I’m not pregnant.
So I swiftly left the bathroom and stood in the hallway wondering what to do. I mean, I’d like to pretend nothing was wrong, but with a mountain trying to escape from my body, it wasn’t really an option.
I had no choice but to bite the bullet and deal with it. It couldn’t be that hard of a subject to discuss, could it? After all, I write sex scenes all the time, surely I can mention a problem with my body to someone.
With no other option, I went to find my boyfriend and said the first thing that popped into my head.
“Can you look at me down there and tell me if it looks normal to you?”
Yep, that’s what I said.
I know I could have looked myself but, to be honest, he’s seen it more than I have so I trust his opinion.
So, I’m stood there, feeling like I have an egg stuck up me (not the nice kind), while the fella blinks at me like I’ve grown a second head, and I’ve probably just said the last thing he expected to hear from me.
I’ve had better moments.
It took a full minute for him to come up with a reply and when he did it became apparent that I needed to explain myself better. So, I told him what had happened.
Now, luckily, my fella is a bit of a know it all and he had a very good idea what was wrong straight away. So with his help and the assistance of Google, we decided, I have a prolapsed cervix.
My cervix has dropped down and is trying to escape from my body.
It’s not a nice situation and is actually a very common problem but a lot of women are too embarrassed to do anything about it.
I can understand why, I mean, I’m scared to poop in case I push my uterus out, I need to pee constantly because I can’t empty my bladder and I permanently feel like something is stuck inside me. It’s not the type thing you want to tell people about.
Now naturally, I discovered this at the weekend. Easter weekend, when there are no doctors available so until they open I am stuck relying on the Internet, and the most helpful thing I could find is… do kegel exercises.
Apparently, this is what the doctor will advise. As any woman who has ever had children will know, kegel exercises are pelvic floors. It is an exercise where you clench your muscles and hold them for ten seconds at a time. The idea is to clench as hard as you would if you were trying to stop midstream while urinating.
This is easier said than done.
If I was able to clinch the muscles that hard, perhaps I wouldn’t have to cross my legs every time I sneeze. Unfortunately, this is what I must do, so now I’m spending my time clenching, whenever I remember.
I’d like to say the situation is improving but it’s not yet. I’m hopeful though. On the plus side. I’ve now looked at my vagina more times than ever before and can honestly say I know it from top to bottom. My boyfriend now knows it better than ever before too. By the time I get to the doctors about it, all embarrassment will be long gone and I will be able to broach the subject calmly and sensibly… and if not… I’ll just fall back on my original question.
“Does this look normal to you?”