Best Friends and Bodies

This is not a romantic story, I simply got an idea, based on a phrase.

This short story is the result of that idea.

The characters are new, they might have to have their own book in future, though.

Best Friends and Bodies by Gem Stone

“You know that saying, a friend would call a lawyer, but a best friend would help you bury the body?”

Chloe sat at her kitchen table staring at her friend, Ashley, over the rim of her coffee mug. That had to be the strangest question her friend had ever asked. The fact that she’d appeared on the doorstep at eleven at night, to ask it, made things even stranger.

She carefully put her mug back on the table and stared levelly at her friend. “I’ve heard of it.”

Ashley gave her a small smile. “You’ got a shovel?”

She blinked a few times as she ran the question over in her mind, before answering. “Start from the beginning.”

Ashley sighed and flopped back in her chair. “You know that guy who asked me out, on Friday?”

“The warlock, from Eastside?” She carried on sipping her coffee while she watched Ashley.

Her friend nodded. “We went out tonight.”

“And?” She waved her hand, in a ‘continue’ gesture.

“And things kind of… Went wrong.”

Chloe’s eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms, and glared at her friend. “Define wrong.”

Ashley grimaced. “Dead body, in the boot of my car, wrong.”

She hissed a breath in, through her teeth. “What did you do?”

Her friend blushed. “You know that spell we were learning last Friday? It kind of didn’t go right.”

Chloe frowned. “That was an immobilisation spell. How the hell could it go that wrong? And why were you practising magic? You know it’s forbidden outside of college until you’re twenty-five, you could get expelled.”

“He provoked me,” Ashley wailed. “He laughed at our school, said warlocks were better.”

“That’s not an excuse, to kill the man.”

“He said we were cute little witches.”


“I know!”

“Still, it was wrong to kill him,” Chloe said with a sigh.

“Well, I didn’t mean to.”

“How exactly did you kill him, with an immobilisation spell?” she asked thoughtfully.

Ashley turned even redder. “I kind of said explosion, instead of immobilisation by accident.”

Chloe gasped. “You blew him up!”

“Only his heart, anyway, it’s not my fault. The words shouldn’t be so similar, it’s asking for trouble.” She crossed her arms over her chest in a sulk.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s ok then if it’s only his heart.”

“Not helpful.” Ashley scowled.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Chloe agreed. “We have to tell the witches council.”

“NO! I’ll get expelled, they’ll strip my magic.” She buried her head in her hands.

“You’re right, no council. Who knew you went out tonight?”

“Only you, but I don’t know if his friends knew.”

“Did anyone see you get the body in the car?”

It was Ashley’s turn to roll her eyes. “Well, I don’t know. I might have given the fact away when I started shouting, dead body coming through, as I dragged him out the door.”

Chloe laughed. “Okay, point taken. Right, we need to get rid of the body.”

They both sat quietly for a minute, sipping their coffee while trying to think of a solution.

“The river?” Ashley piped up after a minute.

Chloe shook her head. “No too much chance of him resurfacing, and we might get spotted. We need somewhere no one will find him.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, before Chloe sat up with a start. “I’ve got it!”
She jumped to her feet, and grabbed Ashley’s arm, dragging her over to the window. “Look!”

Ashley squinted, in the direction Chloe was pointing. “You want to feed him to next doors cat?”

“No silly, see that section of cleared land, next door?”

Her friend nodded.

“In two days’ time that section if going to have concrete poured on it, and a shed built. It’s perfect, we bury him there, and no one will ever find him.”

Ashley stared at the spot Chloe indicated, a grin formed on her face. “You get the shovels, I’ll pull my car up to the back gate.”

“Why the hell am I helping you do this?” both girls froze as once again the security light came on, near the back door, of the neighbour’s house.

“Because you love me?” Ashley replied with a grin.

Chloe groaned. “You owe me for this. And what’s with that cat, walking back and forth across the fence?It’s like he’s trying to get us caught. He doesn’t even live here.”

They had been digging the hole, for the body, for the past half hour. In that time, the same cat had turned the security lights on at least ten times.

When the light went off again they continued digging. “Seriously,” Chloe continued to grumble. “When I have to bury a body, you better be ready with your shovel.”

Ashley nodded her head enthusiastically. “Of course.”

The fact that they would be going through this again was inevitable. Despite being from long lines of magic, they were both useless at the craft. It’s only been a matter of time until something like this occurred.

“What’re you up to, down there?”

The words spoken over the top of the fence made them both shriek and duck.

“Way to go, make noise and draw attention to yourselves.” The comment was accompanied by some slow clapping.

“I know that voice,” Chloe sighed as she got to her feet, “What do you want Kel?”
She glared at her other neighbour, who now stood in her garden, leaning over the fence to talk to them.

“Just wondered what you were up to, couldn’t sleep with that light flashing off and on.” He grinned, and indicated the light, the cat kept activating.

Ashley plastered a sweet smile on her face. “We’re just helping Chloe’s other neighbour, with some gardening.”

Kel glanced at his watch, “At half twelve at night?”

“We have college in the day.” Chloe snapped before she continued to dig.

“Oh yes, Westside Witches, isn’t it?”

Chloe ignored the question and carried on digging. Kel knew damn well what college they attended. Just as she knew, he went to Henson Warlock’s, a posh private school.

“So who’re you burying?” He asked a few minutes later.

Both girls jumped and looked at him guiltily. “Why would you ask that?”

Kel rolled his eyes then started ticking things off, on his fingers. “You’re digging in the middle of the night, in your neighbour’s garden. Without her knowledge, from the way you jump when the light goes on. The hole is about body size. You’re both witches… Bad witches. Oh yeah, and you have a body wrapped in a blanket next to you.”

Both girls looked down at the body next to them, only just remembering it was there. “Damn.”

They looked at Kel then back at each other. “You know, it’s just as easy to bury two bodies,” Chloe said thoughtfully.

“Whoa girls, no need for that.” Kel waved his hands in front of him. “I won’t tell, after all, these things happen.”

“They do, huh? Since when?” Ashley asked.

Kel glanced around then leant forward speaking quietly. “Look we all make mistakes when learning.” He looked Chloe in the eye. “Just, don’t ever dig under your fish pond.” He then winked and walked off, back towards his house.”

Ashley turned to Chloe, her jaw hanging open, they both looked towards the fish pond. “Do you think he was telling the truth?”

Chloe shook her head, “I don’t know, let’s just get this done, I need sleep, I’m having a barbeque tomorrow, remember.”

They both knuckled down to digging, an hour later the body was buried, all excess soil had been thrown over the fence, and the ground levelled.

“Thank you,” Ashley said, as she hugged Chloe goodbye.

Chloe hugged her back. “It’s okay, don’t forget, I expect you at three tomorrow.”

Ashley frowned. “But the barbeques not until four.”

Chloe smiled. “I know, you’re helping me set up.”

Music blared from the speaker as people accumulated on Chloe’s patio. The weather was perfect for her barbeque. Ashley had arrived an hour early as planned, they both mingled amongst the guests, neither mentioning last night’s events.

By seven the party was winding down. They sat on chairs waiting for the last few people to leave when their friend Cara approached. She perched herself on the seat opposite them and started fiddling with a glass left on the table.

“Are you ok,” Chloe asked concerned.

Cara glanced between the two of them, and then looked around the yard. She leant forward and spoke quietly. “Have you ever heard that saying, a friend would call a lawyer but a best friend would help you bury the body?”